UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
