Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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