i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
