none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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