Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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