My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
