Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
as a side note pls kill me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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