I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
