I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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