so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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