Whod you bang
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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