I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
