Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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