this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
