Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
