He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Bring me that man meat
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
