super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
