i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
