i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
someone owes me an orgasm
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
