I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
