Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
