Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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