she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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