Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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