Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
