so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what day is it and did you see me today?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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