i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
