Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
