he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
