My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How external is "for external use only"?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
