oh god the rape fog is back!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
