the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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