So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
