He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
