these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
