This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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