i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
