I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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