If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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