similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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