I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
FUCK WHALES
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