dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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