His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize