Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
