OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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