You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
