Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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