I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
