Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize