You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
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I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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