People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
