You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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