you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
