State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
