I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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