Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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