His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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