all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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