It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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