Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My first STD was from a foam party
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
