Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
